- Introduction
- Understanding Grief
- People Grieve Differently
- The Brain Fog of Grief
- The Vocabulary of Grief
- Grievers Don’t Need to be Fixed
- Misconceptions About Grief
- There Are No Orderly and Predictable Stages In Grief
- When Caring People Say Dumb Things When You’re Grieving
- What to Say to Others When You’re Grieving
- The Impact of Who you Lost and How you Lost Them
- Heavy Grief Days
- The Grief Letter
- Ways to Remember Them
- Permissions for Grievers
- Creating Bright Spots in the Midst of Grief
- Why Are Many Grievers Not Comfortable Crying In Front of Others?
- Why Grievers Don’t Need to Be Strong
- Do I Just Need Time to Heal From Grief?
- Why Do Grieving People Get the Message They Shouldn’t Be Sad?
- Is Staying Busy Good for Grief?
- The Isolation of Grief
- Can You Fill the Void Left by the Death of Loved One?
- How Long Does the Pain of Grief Last?
- How Do You Get Over Grief?
- I Don’t Want to Forget My Loved One Who Died
- Relationships Change After Loss
- Why Don’t Friends and Family Understand Your Grief?
- How to Tell Others What You Need in Your Grief
- Grief Can Cause You to Re-evaluate Relationships
- I Lost My Spouse and My Friends
- All the Phases in the Grief Journey
- I’m Grieving and Just Barely Surviving
- Why Do I Feel Like I Am Just Existing in My Grief?
- When Will I Be Ready for Grief Counseling?
- Can You Heal Your Grief?
- Living Again After Losing a Loved One
- How Grief Affects Mental Health
- Grief & Depression
- How Trauma Affects Your Grief
- Co-Dependency and Grief
- Should I take medication for my grief?
- The Uniqueness of Grieving A Suicide
- Suicide Shock: I Can’t Believe They Did It
- Feeling Blame and Shame After a Suicide
- The Abandonment of Suicide
- The Stigma of Suicide
- Interview with widow who lost two husbands by suicide
- Losing Your Husband to Suicide
- What To Do With Your Loved One’s Belongings After They Die
- No Cost Financial Coaching & Planning for Widows: Chris Bentley
- Hope When Shattered By Grief
- Answers to Your Questions About Grief
- Introduction
- Is Being Angry at God a Sin After My Loved One Died?
- Where Did My Peace, Joy and Gratitude Go after I lost my loved one?
- Can Grief and Hope Co-Exist?
- Why Does God Heal Some People But Not Others?
- Is Suicide an Unforgivable Sin?
- Why Do I Dislike Platitudes and Bible Verses?
- Why Did God Let My Loved One Die?
- Surviving The Holidays
- I Lost Myself When My Husband Died
- When Widowed Pain Feels Like Homesickness
- No Cost Financial Coaching & Planning For Widows: Chris Bentley
- The Best Grief Retreat for Widows
- I Lost My Husband By Suicide. Now What?
- An Interview With A Woman Who Lost Two Husbands By Suicide
- I Lost My Spouse and My Friends
- A Widow’s Guide to the Stages of Grief
- 7 year anniversary of the sudden death of my husband
- The Trauma and Grief of Widows Who Were Caregivers
- The Captive Widow: Navigating Obstacles to Widow Healing
- Understanding the Widow’s Brain
Widow Grief
12 Episodes
All Series
-
Foundations Of Grief
14 Episodes -
Misconceptions About Grief
12 Episodes -
Relationships After Loss
5 Episodes -
Widow Grief
12 Episodes -
The Grief Journey
6 Episodes -
Grief & Mental Health
5 Episodes -
Grieving A Suicide
6 Episodes -
Conversations On Grief
4 Episodes -
Questions Grieving Christians Ask
8 Episodes -
Coping With The Holidays and Other Tough Special Days
1 Episodes
Widow Grief
12 Episodes
Episodes in This Series
-
I Lost Myself When My Husband Died
-
When Widowed Pain Feels Like Homesickness
-
No Cost Financial Coaching & Planning For Widows: Chris Bentley
-
The Best Grief Retreat for Widows
-
I Lost My Husband By Suicide. Now What?
-
An Interview With A Woman Who Lost Two Husbands By Suicide
-
I Lost My Spouse and My Friends
-
A Widow’s Guide to the Stages of Grief
-
7 year anniversary of the sudden death of my husband
-
The Trauma and Grief of Widows Who Were Caregivers
-
The Captive Widow: Navigating Obstacles to Widow Healing
-
Understanding the Widow’s Brain
Episode : The Trauma and Grief of Widows Who Were Caregivers
This explains why there are many wives actively taking care of their infirmed husbands for months and years before their husband dies. If you were one of those caretaking wives, then you can certainly relate to how that role is often physically and emotionally exhausting, confining, and sometimes underappreciated.
Potential blessings of being a caretaker include having time to put things in order before your husband’s death. Sometimes financial and estate matters can be brought up to date, funeral arrangements can be prepared, and intimate couple conversations can take place before the inevitable occurs. There is a chance to say “goodbye” and say everything that needs to be said.
The downside of being a caretaker includes the physical, emotional, and mental strain involved, confusing and conflicting emotions that may occur both before and after your husband’s death, and the cumulative trauma of watching your once vibrant husband become a mere shadow of himself.
As a widow, you must have a setting and opportunity to process both the blessings and curses of your caretaking role. Ideally, you can work with a grief coach or a therapist. Professional help is especially important if you are experiencing carryover traumatic symptoms, thoughts of not being enough, and guilt for times you weren’t the perfect caregiver.
I remember my late wife’s decline due to cancer – especially the last few months as her ability to do anything for herself declined almost daily, as her pain would spike, as she would periodically slip into a very confused mental state and sometimes chastise me for not doing or being enough.
I remember the conflict of deeply grieving her death and simultaneously feeling relief that I no longer needed to be vigilant 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. I remember struggling with intrusive thoughts of not being a good enough caretaker and fighting off intrusive images of her emaciated and sore-ridden body. I often flashed back to the helplessness and fear I faced when unexpected challenges arose in the middle of the night. Thankfully, I was able to process all this via EMDR therapy along with the healing methods we developed. I am no longer a victim of the traumatic splinters caretaking left in my brain.
If you relate to my experience, your best course of action might be to find a certified EMDR therapist. It will almost certainly be a worthwhile investment.
If you feel you need help with your grief, please consider our unique widow retreats. They not only provide community but also provide a safe place to process your grief and all emotions related to your husband’s death. Our favorite thing to do is help widows heal and have hope because we remember that journey well. We’ve been there.
You can find more information about our unique and personalized widow retreats here unique and personalized widow retreats here